To Procreate, or Not To Procreate?

It's so hard to decide to have another baby, or not!  Since Macen has been born it has brought up the conversation between me and John, naturally, and we are both indecisive about it.  I honestly can't imagine being pregnant again...EVER!  There is so much to consider...

First, we have to have a bigger house, and to have that, we need to have jobs that will support our new family and the bills.  By the time that happens, Collin will be three or four, and after Collin can talk and poop in the toilet, I'm not sure I will want to go back to getting up every two hours every night and not knowing why the baby is crying.  John and I also have a lot of things we want to do as a couple, and another baby will make those things even MORE difficult.  Would Collin benefit from a sibling?  I just don't know...

It is hard to commit to following through with the decision even though I know once the baby got here, we wouldn't regret it.  Neither of us really want to stop working to stay at home with our children because we like what we get out of working.  I wish there was a computer service where you could put in your life choices, and it would calculate the correct choice for you.  Blah! 

Collin is so cute, it WOULD be a crime to leave him an only child...I just don't know...I guess we will see what God has in store for us since he is the computer system that maps out our direction!  We just have to trust in him!! 

So friends...what do you think?  Baby, or no baby? 

And Off He Goes To Save The World!

Deployments are many things.  They are scary because you worry about your loved ones safety.  They are sad because you miss that person while they are gone and you think about them every day.  They are stressful because there is so much left to chance.  You go about your life as best you can even though you are missing such a big part of it.  You do your best to focus on positive emotions and thoughts.  Even though I'm sad and I miss my sweet husband, I am so proud.  I am so proud that my husband is part of the three percent of Americans that serve in our military! 

I do pretty well going on with our day to day routine.  Believe it or not, the hardest days are when I do get to talk to him, or if I miss a chance to talk to him in the middle of the night and then I can't go back to sleep.  Any unexpected knock at the door makes me stop whatever I'm doing to take a deep breath and brace myself.  The last thing I want to see when I open my door are two uniformed officers standing there.  I can't even think about that.  Every news story coming out of Afghanistan is hard to read becuase you know that some where there is a family mourning the loss of a loved one.  I get angry at our governments indecision about THIS war when I'm pretty sure if a close loved one of theirs was deployed they would be more willing to reach an agreement on what direction to take.  Collin is missing his daddy.  Right around the time that John would normally get home Collin starts crying and is inconsolable.  Defenitally behavior that I am not used to.  Today when he started getting upset I let him watch one of the videos John recorded for him, and that seemed to help...until it was over.  It will take some time to adjust to, and I'm sure by the time we get adjusted it will almost be time for John to come home.  But that's ok with me.  We will be ready with our arms open wide. 

I have no idea what things my husband will see and experience, but I know I will be here to support him no matter what because he is my one true love.  He just has to get home, and we can handle the rest.  We have such big plans and so much to look forward to and I'm excited for him to come home so we can get started! 

John is my best friend, my sweetheart, my husband, my hero.  There is no possible replacement for him in our lives.  We will see him very soon, but for now we live the day to day!

 



To Fill You In

I haven't posted in a while because I have been busy with all the happenings in the Dozier's lives.  A lot has happened since my last post, so here is a quick recap. 

March brought my beloved brother in law home from his deployment to Afghanistan.  We had a great time welcoming him home and watching the excitement on his face when he saw his very pregnant wife's belly for the first time.  Homecomings are so emotional and exciting! 

April 1st brought our newest Dozier boy into the world!  Macen Leland Dozier is an April Fools baby!!  He came just in time so his daddy would have some nice time off to spend with them since he has been gone for so long.  It was great to welcome this sweet little man in to our lives.  It's amazing how quickly they change and grow.  He weighed 5lbs 13oz and was 19 inches long on this birth day, and is now almost two pounds heavier, and growing more and more every day.  He has the cutest little sneeze, and gets hiccups about once a day!  Megan and Mark are great parents and are handling this new journey very well.  Collin, on the other hand, isn't so excited!  It will take him more time to get used to not being the baby anymore.  One day they will be best buds and we won't even be able to tell that he used to sneak up to Macen and smack him when we weren't looking! 

Now we are preparing for another deployment.  John leaves for Afghanistan this week.  I wish he wasn't leaving during exam time, but there is little I can do about that.  I am ready to get this last deployment over with because after this he has a year left and then he is getting out of the Marine Corps.  I am looking forward to never telling him goodbye again!  I am not looking forward to the next seven months.  Collin and I will miss John tremendously.  I will be keeping myself busy by any means necessary. School, house projects, hanging out with my little man, traveling to spend time with family.  Whatever has to be done to occupy my mind.  Please pray for his safety and peace of mind during this deployment.  He will need it! 

So that is that past couple of months in a nut shell.  I will keep everyone posted on the Dozier happenings as much as possible.  Talk to you soon:)